New Era Leadership: Resilience and tenacity II

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity – Louis Pasteur

 

The leaders I met, whatever walk of life they were from, whatever institutions they were presiding over, always referred back to the same failure - something that happened to them that was personally difficult, even traumatic, something that made them feel that desperate sense of hitting bottom - as something they thought was almost a necessity. It's as if at that moment the iron entered their soul; that moment created the resilience that leaders need - Warren G. Bennis

 

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on - Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

As you might remember, on the topic of resilience and tenacity, last time I made the point that hardships in life can test our resilience and tenacity to the extreme, but personal disappointments test it in a different and sometimes more challenging way. When we experience disappointments we tend to conclude that success is reserved for the naturally talented. And for them it more or less falls in their lap. However, most people we admire for their success have an account of how they had to overcome adversity and disappointment and how it ultimately contributed to their growth and advancement in life.

 

Of course, it is one thing to hear the testimony of someone who is asked to explain his success after difficult times and a different thing to understand or analise the thinking processes during those times in the hope that one can adopt the constructive responses. Exactly how one can overcome the persistent feelings of self-doubt or doubting life in general, is the magic formula we all hope to find. Unhelpful reactions to our disappointments, I think, broadly fall into two categories. One is that we can get stuck in a cycle of negative or over-analytical thoughts.

 

There is always the need to organise our thinking. Sharing one’s thoughts and feelings with someone we trust, someone who shares our values and who cares enough that he/she will give honest opinions, is a step in the right direction. Our feelings want to be recognised. Not necessarily as messages of something else, but simply as feelings. Under stress and in the experience of disillusionment our thoughts can be erratic. As we struggle to control them we tend to suppress or deny our strong feelings. Once we verbally express our feelings freely in a caring and trusting environment, we actually ‘hear’ our own disappointments and experience some relief when we do so. Clarity of thoughts can return. After we also had the benefit of a more objective perspective of someone we trust, it is time to work on the next step. There could be a lesson that one has learned and needs to put in practise or some adjustment to what we have done, but it is our actions and not our passive thoughts that will be the most instructive in terms of our future direction. 

 

As Og Mandino in his The World’s Greatest Salesman points out, one needs to form good habits and become their slave. We need to return to the good habits that promises success as soon as we can. Resilience is that ability to rebound, to regain one’s original state. Some of us find it harder to bounce back emotionally after disappointments than others. Those of us who find it extra difficult typically live intensely with high levels of focus and commitment. We find it difficult to let go of our focused expectations. What normally is a strength then become a weakness or an obstacle. The longer we take to bounce back and be fully productive again, the more we loose the momentum that we have built up with what we endeavoured to do. It is our challenge to get away from ourselves in the good sense of the word – not to take ourselves too seriously and trust the ebbs and flows of life as normal. We need to relax more.

 

The other pitfall is that we try to escape the feeling of disappointment by rather letting go of our ideals or aspirations. We revert to what is safe and more predictable. The problem is that we might escape the relatively smaller disappointments on the path to the realisation of a vision but we prepare the way for a much bigger disappointment when we one day realise that we’ve given up on something we actually needed to feel fulfilled. Some of us typically find it much harder to hold on to a vision and the discipline needed to bring the fulfilment closer. We never brood over our disappointments and might be flexible, fun loving and easy-going, but we often feel that we have not given ourselves the best chance to succeed. We needed more tenacity, persistency of purpose. It is our challenge to face ourselves courageously. To not fear strong emotions and disappointments in ourselves but to trust the process as one that will make us stronger and wiser. We need to embrace the wisdom of ‘the only way out is the way through’.     

 

As leaders we need to be resilient and we need to demonstrate tenacity. We need to bounce back after disappointments and be the first to show that setbacks will not dampen our spirit. We also need to demonstrate that our vision remains clear and that we approach each day filled with purpose.

 

Of course, a lot more can be said about managing expectations and disappointments. As I indicated earlier, deep disappointments challenge not only our functionality but also our beliefs and values. For instance, if I approach my work with the belief that no amount of money or status can ever be as important as my relationships, how will it be influenced if I find that my relationships suffer as a consequence of lack of money or status? Or else, if I approach my work and responsibility with the belief that quality of process is more sustainable and rewarding than fast production or service delivery with inferior quality, how will it be influenced by the decline in profit margins and even possible lay-offs? Or as another example, if I have made up my mind that I will always listen to my conscience and do what I believe is right, how will it be influenced if people sideline me as if I am from a different world?

 

Wherever we dedicate ourselves to moral principles but experience the absence of results we experience disappointment at a different level. We feel the need to go to the base of our moral beliefs. We are not only tested mentally and emotionally but also spiritually. It necessitates that we repeatedly take the spiritual journey to re-affirm our faith and re-commit to the values that it prescribes. That would be to tap into the deepest source of tenacity and resilience.

 

Best wishes till next month.

 

Remember my offering of ‘Inspiring Talks’ on the following topics:

 

·        Inspire yourself, inspire others
·        Resilience and tenacity
·        Accountability and responsibility
·        The illusion of security
·        The power of character
·        Excellence and success
·        Busyness and prioritising
·        Mental and spiritual fitness
 
Let me know of you are interested.

 

Gerhard

 

 

New Era Leadership: Resilience and tenacity

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity – Louis Pasteur

 

The leaders I met, whatever walk of life they were from, whatever institutions they were presiding over, always referred back to the same failure - something that happened to them that was personally difficult, even traumatic, something that made them feel that desperate sense of hitting bottom - as something they thought was almost a necessity. It's as if at that moment the iron entered their soul; that moment created the resilience that leaders need - Warren G. Bennis

 

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on - Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

Do you know the feeling of being tested when you try your utmost to do the right thing? Perhaps you have realised that your recent behaviour towards your partner was unloving and selfish. You are dedicated to change it and focus more on her needs than yours. You are really motivated to reach out. But then, just as you try to build new patterns of behaviour, you find that you are put on trial. It could be a hurtful remark that implies that you are not really trusted and your motivations are in question. It could be that you discover you have to give up a lot more than what you were prepared for.

 

In another area of your life you passionately follow your dream or initiate something that in your mind will be a significant contribution at work or elsewhere. After days, weeks or even years of carefull consideration and preparation your are ready to excecute your plan. But then you meet unexpected resistence, doors you hoped to go through remain closed. Unexpected developments put your plan in jeopardy. It is as if an invincible force is trying to prevent you to make any progress. In whatever way one looks at it, there is huge dissappointment.

 

The hardships of live are diverse and many. There are times that we need to overcome the trauma of death, of serious illness, of a broken relationship, of loss of income and work and of accidents or forms of violence. We experience shock and all the strong and energy sapping emotions that typically come with it. We say to ourselves ‘life goes on’ and try to find the resolve to cope, sometimes with the help of medication, therapy or counselling and hopefully with the support of family, friends and colleagues. We find ways to strengthen our faith and often re-commit and experience deepening in our spiritual lives. We go into survival mode where we focus only on the most essential things in life until time heals some of the wounds and we have more or less adapted to the new situation in our lives. One cannot underestimate the grieve and suffering that traumatic events can cause. It can be devestating. With these kind of events we are essentially required to cope with loss and disruption of our lives.

 

Dealing with dissappoinments are different but poses strong challenges of its own. In certain ways one can say that it can be even more difficult. When something bad of general nature has happened outside of our control, there is shock, pain and mourning. We have to accept it, adapt and move on in life. When we get dissappointted in our expectations, we can say it is no different: Accept, adapt and move on. However, we all know very well that in many cases it is not so simple. There are questions and doubts that emerge spontaneously. They are demanding, relentless and disturbing. Am I on the right track? Are my expectations too high? Is there something wrong with my judgment? Should I have done something different? Am I alone in this? Was I naieve? Are my beliefs myths and fabrications? Did I listen to the wrong people?

 

What makes these questions exceptionally challenging is the fact that they are self-doubting. They drill down to the essence of my being. They threaten my confidence. Our biggest problem and handicap when faced with dissappointments and the self doubt that can follow, is the myth that we are alone in the battle with ourselves. When tragedy happens it is there for everyone to see and to respond to with sympathy. When we experience deep dissappointment, it often is not evident to others. It is something we might prefer to keep private for fear of wrong perceptions. We, perhaps subconsciouly, tell ourselves that others will read failure into our story. They will simply concur that we are not good enough to achieve what we aspire to. We don’t have the talent for it. Our sense of pride prevents us from talking easily about our personal dissappointments. We will rather resort to the assumption that success is not meant for us and that it chooses only the naturally talented. And for them it more or less falls in their lap. Really? Reading autobiographies of people whom we regard as talented and successful can cure the myth. People we admire for their success always have an account of how they had to overcome adversity and dissappointment and how it ultimately contributed to their growth and advancement in life.

 

Of course, it is one thing to hear the testimony of someone who is asked to explain his success after difficult times and a different thing to understand or analise the thinking proccesses during those times in the hope that one can adopt the constructive responses. Exactly how one can overcome the persistent feelings of self-doubt or doubting life in general, is the magic formula we all hope to find. Unhelpful reactions to our dissappoinments, I think, broadly fall into two categories… To be continued

 

Best wishes till next month.

 

Gerhard

 

New Era Leadership: Be inspired, inspire others

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul - G. K. Chesterton

 

The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be - William James

 

I trust you had a wonderful, restful and rejuvenating festive time. I hope you are feeling positive and looking forward to the new year. More specifically, I hope you are looking forward to a year of personal growth rather than a year of better luck, a year of deeper understanding and insight rather than a year of accumulation of facts and information, a year of wonder and awe rather than a year of never-ending analysis and attempts to control, a year of significance rather than a year of awards and recognition, a year of serenity and inner peace rather than a year of rush and constant excitement. Growing to higher levels of personal capacity, character, resilience and meaning is certainly more responsible and satisfying than hoping for the accidental fortune that might come one’s way, more responsible and satisfying than indiscriminately joining the crowds and the rat-race.

 

What do you see for yourself in this new year? As the Bible in Ecclesiastes chapter three reminds us, there is a time for everything: A time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to search and a time to give up; a time to be silent and a time to speak. Life is best lived when one respects the various cycles that typify our lives. Good judgment of the right time to do something or not to do it, is therefore as important as the thought or idea that we consider to act on and the action itself. So, what do you see for yourself in the year 2009? Is it time for you to ‘plant’ something new, to initiate a new project, to follow your dream of the last two or three years and do something completely different? Or is it time for you to carry through previous initiatives, to continue to be the mainstay and calming influence in the office or to stay strong and focused amidst turbulent personal circumstances?  

 

How do we know when it is the right time to speak and when to be silent or to keep on searching for something and when to give it up? If there was a simple or obvious answer to this question we would have missed out on the wonder of being human, the wonder of making discoveries and of learning through life experiences. We would have been no more than robots. As Rita Mae Brown says, good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. We have no recipes or manuals that tell us precisely when to do what in every situation. Yes, there is spiritual guidance as many of us believe, but not in a way that takes away our responsibility and ability to think, to will and to choose. What I believe is essential is to stay true to oneself. By that I mean that we need to fully appreciate our unique design to be that one person that the world from beginning to end will only see once. What an amazing thought! Indeed, to love that person, which is not the same as to justify everything that that person does or think. We are also confronted with the reality of evil.

 

To love oneself is to thankfully embrace the seed of potential and beauty that was given to you as the uniquely designed life of a human being. This is not something that someone else can do in your place. You have to do it yourself. It is not something that you get the answer to by looking at your parents or other influential people in your life. You only find it by looking at yourself in a spiritually connected way. Our ability to read situations, to pick up the signals from our inner being and to make sound judgment calls is severely impeded the further we drift away from being and living the full potential of that uniquely created person that each one of us is. In other words, the more we live inauthentic lives, the more we invite evil in our lives, the worse our chances are of judging the right time for the right actions. Over time we then get the feeling that our space in life is cramped. We feel dependent on a ‘lucky break’ of some kind to open up new possibilities - even when other people think we live privileged, respected and prosperous lives. We become externally driven and in need of others approval and admiration. And so can one year become two, ten, twenty or seventy years, and the lucky break unfortunately never came. Wasted potential! Rather, as Ralph Waldo Emerson asserts: Each man has his own vocation; his talent is his call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him. I find it inspirational, not only for myself but for everyone else.

        

Whatever you think of doing in 2009, be inspired. That way you will also inspire others. ‘Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant, they are a fuel in us which needs to be ignited’, said Johann Gottfried Von Herder. And Beethoven said, ‘Inspiration is for me that mysterious state in which the entire world seems to form a vast harmony, when every sentiment, every thought re-echoes within me, when all the forces of nature become instruments for me, when my whole body shivers and my hair stands on end.’ As we all have experienced, we don’t remain too long in such a state, but the creative power of those moments can be experienced and can inspire others for generations – as Beethoven’s compositions do. But inspiration is more than a special feeling that comes and goes and it is more than the kick start for artists. As the Latin origin of the word (inspirare = to breathe, to inflame, to blow into) and the English word ‘spirit’ that is derived from ‘spirare’ indicate, it is also the spirit we carry with us from moment to moment, from breath to breath. It begs the question: Who or what is the main source of our own inspiration and can it sustain us for anything that we may encounter in this world?

 

With everything said above, let me wish you a year full of inspiration with one last wise quote: The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become - Charles DuBois.

 

Best regards

 

Gerhard

FW: New Era Leadership: The illusion of security

Security is when everything is settled. When nothing can happen to you. Security is the denial of life

- Germaine Greer

 

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing

- Helen Keller

 

Since my last communication a number of dramatic things happened in our world. I’m thinking of the split in the ANC and the resulting announcement of the new political party COPE, the election of Barack Obama as America’s first black president and the ongoing instability in the financial markets with fears of worldwide recession. Many things in our country and our world interfere with our sense of security. For many people a grim economic outlook translates into certain levels of anxiety and depression. Unpleasant surprises in life will always be … unpleasant surprises. What really matters is how we can respond to those challenges. As we know as individuals, as families, as organisations and as nations, we are only really tested in terms of our quality, our character and our resilience when the going gets tough. When unpredictable and far-reaching things happen in our lives, we are not so much tested in terms of our talent, our skills, our image, our reputation, our wealth or our resources and connections as we are challenged in the inner theatre of our thoughts, beliefs, values, principles, wisdom and character. If we cannot rise to the challenges we experience at the core of our existence, the attack on our minds and our spirits where fear and disappointments can rob us from all meaning and purpose, then all the rest counts for nothing. If we feel unable to cope in a world of disappointments and a world of instability, we become cynical, indifferent and unhappy – and we want others to feel the same. The problem is that in the kind of world that we are living in today much emphasis is placed on the amount of energy and time one needs to invest (and the discipline one has to apply) to build a successful exterior, but we seldom hear or talk about the sacrifice and discipline needed to build the more important inner strengths. It is how we live in the good times that determines how we respond to the challenges of hard times.        

 

As surely as the year 2008 will come to an end, our earthly lives will also come to an end. This is a much needed perspective if we want to live the meaningful lives that we know we all want to live. If we don’t remind ourselves of this fact – which is the only earthly thing we can know for certain about our future – we could so easily be deceived into a lifelong strive for the illusionary absolute security. In reality it is more fighting life than living life. It is like swimming against the stream. Think for a moment how much of your dreams and planning is driven by the desire to secure a comfortable and stable life. As the two quotes above want to remind us, we often might come close to denying life and nature as it really is. Rather, we should embrace life as a daring adventure. More daring than doing extreme sports or explorations is to follow a calling to make a difference in the lives of others. Albert Einstein said only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile and Norman MacEwan said happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

 

With 2009 on our doorstep I hope I can inspire you to live life not in fear but in faith. Go where your faith will be strengthened. Spend time with people who not only share your faith but help you to grow it. Read what is uplifting, experience what is pure and natural and find it in yourself to thank and appreciate others and life in general. Then, in 2009, lead with that faith, build others up when they are down, reach out to those that suffer, make your best contributions to your work organisation with heart and spirit and face the challenges courageously. Elie Wiesel said the following wise words:

 

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

 

Leaders never allow themselves to become indifferent. They care, they inspire and they find the passion in their souls. Henry James said: ‘Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.’ As Stephen Covey also reminds us, whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.

 

My best wishes for the rest of 2008. Have a blessed Christmas and very special 2009.

 

Gerhard

 

FW: Leadership and gratitude

In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I see the Pope says it’s time for the world to wake up and put its faith in the right place. To put your faith in the financial markets and for that matter in money, is like building your house on sand – it is unstable and cannot weather the storms of life. Whether you are Catholic or not and whether the Pope said what he said or not, I’m sure you will agree there is something to learn from the turmoil and instability in the world economy - the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression, they say. Listening to CNN and the comments and analysis of the Americans, it is interesting how the word ‘greed’ suddenly became an accepted word to describe the root cause for the ‘credit crunch’. Before, it was probably viewed by many as the only defense losers have in the modern world’s success game – to accuse the winners of greed. It is also interesting how ‘trust’ and with that the integrity and trustworthiness of financial institutions became key issues to prevent the financial systems from freezing and collapsing. As I see it, suddenly, all the complex workings of the financial world became simple matters of human values and morality. Not that money is unimportant, but to what extent does it determine our happiness and appreciation of life and does it make us compromise more important values and moral beliefs?

Isn’t it true that as we put all our efforts into trying to be successful in what we do, into obtaining what we don’t have and into becoming recognised for something more than what we are, we can so easily loose sight of what we have and what we can celebrate? Not that we need proof, but psychologists in recent years researched the role of gratitude in people’s outlook on life and their conclusion is that it is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues (The Psychology of Gratitude - Edited by R. A. Emmons & M.E. McCullough). Why is it neglected? Why do we almost resist the idea of gratitude? We do not like to think of ourselves as indebted and would rather see our good fortunes as our own doing - whereas the losses and sufferings are not our fault. Robert Solomons in the above mentioned book suggests that gratitude lies at the very heart of ethics and that it is more basic than even duty and obligation. Can you relate to this view? How much are you driven by a sense of duty and obligation in comparison to a sense of gratitude? And to add to the mix, the pursuit of success? Which of the three potential drivers of your actions, commitments and hard work, (obligation, the pursuit of success and gratitude) offers the most to the quality of one’s life? Dietrich Bonhoeffer maintains that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.

The ability to express gratitude and to cultivate an attitude of gratitude is not only a virtue but part and parcel of living a good life. It is not just an acknowledgment of debt and an expression of humility but is also a way to improve one's life. It is more than just a positive view of life. It is a way of putting one’s life in perspective. Experiences and expressions of gratitude shapes identity. The grateful person is inclined to dwell on the favourable rather than the regrettable, to notice the good in situations rather than the bad. He/she is therefore better able to think and act pro-actively and creatively. Compare this with contrasting feelings of resentment, regret and envy and their effects on a person. Certainly, there are times when we feel resentment or regret but we also know that those feelings keep us from moving on with our lives. It makes us depressed. Envy implies not only dissatisfaction in general but dissatisfaction with oneself. It is a form of self-alienation. It implies that good can only be found in a situation where I am superior to the next person. Chances are not good that an envious person will experience many moments of true happiness. The test of all happiness, said Gilbert Chesterton, is gratitude, and all goods look better when they look like gifts.

We all need ways and reasons to transcend many of the circumstances that disappoint, frustrate, and anger us. Focusing on the reasons why and to whom we can be grateful to, as a habit in our lives, enables us to transcend our circumstances and live with bigger vision and perspective – particularly if we reflect on the gift of life itself. (Even Nietzsche in his meditations asked himself: How could I fail to be grateful to my whole life?) Gratitude can be seen as a positive emotion and as such it generates ‘an upward spiral toward optimal functioning and enhanced emotional well-being’. Gratitude broadens a person’s mode of thinking and action, the ability to cope and to be resilient. Depressing and negative thoughts have the opposite effect. It narrows us down to specific and often isolated situations and it drains our energy.

Now, as you know very well, the mood, attitude and worldview of leaders is not irrelevant to the organisations they are in. The positive emotions of the leader, fed by deep feelings of gratitude, are contagious and create positive, productive and pleasant atmospheres. Sometimes it’s obviously harder to have and show those emotions, sometimes it’s easier. In tough times don’t forget to work harder at cultivating your sense of gratitude – that is, take time out to see the bigger picture of life and its Giver. In good times don’t forget that the delight with your success is incomplete if you don’t express gratitude to those who helped you to make it possible.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow - Melodie Beattie

 

Best wishes

 

(Expect my next and last letter of the year at the end of November)

 

Gerhard

Leadership and Honesty

What value does a thought have, apart from the truth it contains or seeks after? – Andre Comte-Sponville

 

What attribute do people look for most in a leader? Competence? Charisma? Intelligence? Research done by the University of California is confirmed in my own surveys as I asked the question to many different groups in SA companies. Top of the list is honesty. Amazing isn’t it? What has honesty to do with being a good leader? It is fundamental! When a group of people get lost somewhere in the bush and they are looking for a leader to lead them back to safety there could be a number of volunteers for the role. ‘Know-how’ will obviously be key. All the volunteers would however claim that they have the ‘know-how’. But who can I believe? Who can I trust? Who do I know is honest with him/herself and honest with others? Who lives with integrity?

 

We live in a world full of deceit, pretense, so-called ‘white lies’ and dubiousness. In our daily interactions people say things and promise things. We hear but we have learnt to believe only what we see – we’ve become cynical of what people say. In our cities we can, for a large part, live anonymously. We can get away with being dishonest. Where previously in smaller, closer and more homogeneous communities we were held accountable for what we say, today we don’t expect to be held accountable and we have given up on trying to hold others accountable (try holding a call centre consultant accountable for his/her promises). It is a sign of our times that we almost desperately look for leaders whom we can trust; leaders who talk and act in good faith. Good faith goes beyond sincerity. Sincerity means not lying to others; good faith means lying neither to others nor to oneself. Lying or not lying to oneself is the ultimate test of moral character and moral character is essential to leadership influence. Can we ever get it perfect? Not in this life but we can make it our goal and strive to do better.

 

When, in what situations, do you feel tempted to lie? I cannot think of an exception to the ‘rule’ that one feels tempted when, in some or other way, one feels that telling the truth could directly or indirectly harm oneself. It could be harmful in material terms, or in terms of our comfort, or it could be harmful in terms of loss of respect, esteem or admiration. It relates to selfish or ego needs. (I guess lying over time can become such a habit that people can lie for the sake of lying – not really knowing anymore why they feel compelled to lie). Comte-Sponville explains good faith or truthfulness as loving truth more than oneself. That is a tall order! Ultimately I feel I must be able to see that holding on to and living by the truth, even though it could have temporary negative implications for myself, will in the end be for my own good. If God is your truth then acting in good faith (being truthful) means loving God more than you love yourself. Since God loves us, I can feel secure in the knowledge that living the truth will take me to what is good and eternal. There is then no need to deceive, no need to pretend or twist the facts. To be honest though, we have to admit that as human beings we struggle every day to get it right.  

 

‘Must we therefore always speak our hearts, give voice to every thought and every feeling? No, because we cannot. There is too little time, and decency and gentleness forbid it. Sincerity is not exhibition­ism; it is not tactlessness. One has the right to remain silent and indeed quite often one must. Good faith forbids not silence but deception ...’  (Comte-Sponville). As a leader one is often confronted with a situation where telling the truth blatantly could have disastrous results for people and/or for the cause of the organisation. As much as a leader has to be truthful, he/she also has to lead with discernment. It is the combination of the two that earns trust and respect. A truthful person then is someone who loves truth and consequently refuses to lie, whether by over­statement or understatement, fabrication or omission. As Comte-Sponville says, better a true sadness than a false joy.

 

The quality of our thoughts determine the quality of our lives and our leadership. As leaders we have strategic thoughts, analytical and problem solving thoughts, innovative and opportunistic thoughts, and many other kinds of thoughts. As we think, reflect, prepare, make our plans or even construct our responses in conversations, it will do us good to keep the question in mind: What value does a thought have, apart from the truth it contains or seeks after?   

 

I trust you will enjoy a wonderful spring!

 

Gerhard

 

Humility is the virtue of a man who knows he is not God . it means loving the truth and submitting to it - Andre Comte-Sponville

I am sure you would also like to be seen as humble and yet assertive and confident as opposed to arrogant or timid. Is it possible to balance the two sides? Are they two sides? Can you confidently say that you are a humble person … and then be humble? In fact, we all know that to pride oneself on one’s own humility is to lack it. To say ‘I lack humility’ and mean it, on the other hand, is a step towards humility. In my view both humility and assertiveness are key characteristics of a good leader and they do compliment one another.

 

To think that one is simply born or not born with the perfect personality that includes humbleness and assertiveness as characteristics, is a misconception. If Comte-Sponville is correct – as I believe he is - in saying that humility means loving the truth and submitting to it, then it is obvious that humility will be the outcome of a lifelong commitment to and pursuit of the truth. It necessitates application, focus and the willingness to learn – particularly about oneself in relation to the world. It is therefore not a genetically determined personality trait but an attitude and approach to life. It is an attitude and approach one can choose to have. It is the same attitude and approach to life that I believe can grow assertiveness and confidence if it is accompanied by the willingness to risk the unknown.

 

Humility should not be confused with lowliness. Being lowly, says Comte-Sponville, means ‘forsaking one's true worth, underestimating one's true value, to the point of not allow­ing oneself to undertake any higher action, which one assumes to be beyond one's capabilities’. Lowliness and lack of confidence and assertiveness therefore goes hand in hand. Humility, understood wrongly, can lead to lowliness. Humility understood correctly, goes hand in hand with mercy. There is a need to be merciful toward ourselves, since perfection is not achievable in this life. If we can’t be merciful to ourselves we can’t be merciful to others. A further point is that our ability to love others is also related to the humbleness of our spirit. Without humility ‘the self comes to occupy all the available space and sees the other person as an object ... or as an enemy’. The acknowledgement that my view about myself is always potentially full of illusions leads to humility and it creates room for the other person.  

 

So, how important and how relevant are the above views to the work environment and our effectiveness? VERY important. Our effectiveness and influence are determined to a large extent by others’ perception of how well we have our ego’s in check as well as how assertive and convincing we come across.  Do you wish you could be more assertive and find the ideal, effective way of speaking your mind? Do you perhaps have the suspicion that your colleagues or some of them think you are arrogant and that while they won’t challenge you openly, they also don’t support you when you need them to do so? From other people’s perspective they would like to see you share praise with them when it’s due; they would appreciate your encouragement and support of their development; they would like to see that your status doesn’t stand in the way of being economical and being human and they would like to see that whether you are dealing with powerful and influential people or conversing with them socially, you are the same person. When they see and experience the opposite, they know that you lack humility.

 

At the same time, others wouls like to see that when you speak, when you share your views, when you listen to what others are saying, when you respond to criticism or questioning, that you do so with assertiveness and healthy self-esteem. As with humility, this is not something we can fake. We either have it or we don’t. If we don’t and we know the situation requires it, we over compensate and appears to be arrogant. Else we are seen as timid and lacking influence. When we overreact to something that’s been said and that implicates us in a negative way, when we don’t come forward and volunteer for a task that others know we can and actually would like to do, when we appear to be in need of status symbols, when we play down other people’s successes in life ... others know that we lack assertiveness and self-esteem.      

 

So where do we buy humility and self-esteem? Clearly, it is not something one can set as a development goal in life. The quote above points us in the right direction. ‘Knowing that you are not God’ will humble you. You will know that while you do have a role to play on this earth, it is the role of a human being with limitations, with fears and with many different and volatile human emotions. At the same time, if you can believe that you are His creation, you find your true worth from that believe. A worth that is not dependent on others’ views, our life histories, our performances, accomplishments or previous failures. That believe empowers me to risk the unknown, to have the courage to test my limits and accept failure as part of my growth and development process. That believe empowers me to face severe criticism with my inner being, my self-esteem, intact and secure. That believe gives us the proper perspective about ourselves and our relationship to the world.  

 

I wish you the very best for August and hope that you can move closer to the realisation of your dreams.

 

Best regards

 

Gerhard