FW: Leadership and gratitude

In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I see the Pope says it’s time for the world to wake up and put its faith in the right place. To put your faith in the financial markets and for that matter in money, is like building your house on sand – it is unstable and cannot weather the storms of life. Whether you are Catholic or not and whether the Pope said what he said or not, I’m sure you will agree there is something to learn from the turmoil and instability in the world economy - the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression, they say. Listening to CNN and the comments and analysis of the Americans, it is interesting how the word ‘greed’ suddenly became an accepted word to describe the root cause for the ‘credit crunch’. Before, it was probably viewed by many as the only defense losers have in the modern world’s success game – to accuse the winners of greed. It is also interesting how ‘trust’ and with that the integrity and trustworthiness of financial institutions became key issues to prevent the financial systems from freezing and collapsing. As I see it, suddenly, all the complex workings of the financial world became simple matters of human values and morality. Not that money is unimportant, but to what extent does it determine our happiness and appreciation of life and does it make us compromise more important values and moral beliefs?

Isn’t it true that as we put all our efforts into trying to be successful in what we do, into obtaining what we don’t have and into becoming recognised for something more than what we are, we can so easily loose sight of what we have and what we can celebrate? Not that we need proof, but psychologists in recent years researched the role of gratitude in people’s outlook on life and their conclusion is that it is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues (The Psychology of Gratitude - Edited by R. A. Emmons & M.E. McCullough). Why is it neglected? Why do we almost resist the idea of gratitude? We do not like to think of ourselves as indebted and would rather see our good fortunes as our own doing - whereas the losses and sufferings are not our fault. Robert Solomons in the above mentioned book suggests that gratitude lies at the very heart of ethics and that it is more basic than even duty and obligation. Can you relate to this view? How much are you driven by a sense of duty and obligation in comparison to a sense of gratitude? And to add to the mix, the pursuit of success? Which of the three potential drivers of your actions, commitments and hard work, (obligation, the pursuit of success and gratitude) offers the most to the quality of one’s life? Dietrich Bonhoeffer maintains that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.

The ability to express gratitude and to cultivate an attitude of gratitude is not only a virtue but part and parcel of living a good life. It is not just an acknowledgment of debt and an expression of humility but is also a way to improve one's life. It is more than just a positive view of life. It is a way of putting one’s life in perspective. Experiences and expressions of gratitude shapes identity. The grateful person is inclined to dwell on the favourable rather than the regrettable, to notice the good in situations rather than the bad. He/she is therefore better able to think and act pro-actively and creatively. Compare this with contrasting feelings of resentment, regret and envy and their effects on a person. Certainly, there are times when we feel resentment or regret but we also know that those feelings keep us from moving on with our lives. It makes us depressed. Envy implies not only dissatisfaction in general but dissatisfaction with oneself. It is a form of self-alienation. It implies that good can only be found in a situation where I am superior to the next person. Chances are not good that an envious person will experience many moments of true happiness. The test of all happiness, said Gilbert Chesterton, is gratitude, and all goods look better when they look like gifts.

We all need ways and reasons to transcend many of the circumstances that disappoint, frustrate, and anger us. Focusing on the reasons why and to whom we can be grateful to, as a habit in our lives, enables us to transcend our circumstances and live with bigger vision and perspective – particularly if we reflect on the gift of life itself. (Even Nietzsche in his meditations asked himself: How could I fail to be grateful to my whole life?) Gratitude can be seen as a positive emotion and as such it generates ‘an upward spiral toward optimal functioning and enhanced emotional well-being’. Gratitude broadens a person’s mode of thinking and action, the ability to cope and to be resilient. Depressing and negative thoughts have the opposite effect. It narrows us down to specific and often isolated situations and it drains our energy.

Now, as you know very well, the mood, attitude and worldview of leaders is not irrelevant to the organisations they are in. The positive emotions of the leader, fed by deep feelings of gratitude, are contagious and create positive, productive and pleasant atmospheres. Sometimes it’s obviously harder to have and show those emotions, sometimes it’s easier. In tough times don’t forget to work harder at cultivating your sense of gratitude – that is, take time out to see the bigger picture of life and its Giver. In good times don’t forget that the delight with your success is incomplete if you don’t express gratitude to those who helped you to make it possible.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow - Melodie Beattie

 

Best wishes

 

(Expect my next and last letter of the year at the end of November)

 

Gerhard